Thursday, December 14, 2006

World's Shortest Book

"Everything Men Understand About the Female Mind"

Obviously this is not an original concept on my part since every male stand-up comedian has made this topic his bread and butter since the invention of the microphone. In fact, for men, it is as hard a question as there is. Frankly, women are too complicated for us. Men in contrast are pretty easy to figure out, nothing too complicated about what goes on in our skulls - mainly sex and sports. Pretty much all we do is aimed at building a comfortable place to have sex and play our games.

I define sports widely - it can be anything from actual physical athletic exertion to building model airplanes. In the modern workplace when a group of men get together at the proverbial water cooler the discussion of the two "G's" inevitably comes up. Girls and Golf. Like I said - it's sex and sports. In all honesty men talk about these two things a lot more than they do these two things, but it hardly matters since the the phrase "it's all in your head" has never been more true.

Women, on the other hand, think about a lot of things, too many things for their own good actually. When I watched that Mel Gibson movie a few years ago "What Women Want" I was struck by one thing over and over. I wasn't sure if what I detected was true or not since I really don't know if the movie was written and produced by females or males. It seems that women - or a lot of women lack confidence in themselves in comparison to men.

What struck me about this revelation was an article I read on one of my favorite blogs and a conversation I had with my dear mother.

Christopher Chantrill's "Road to The Middle Class" blog posted an article called Men Are Funnier Than Women. Discuss where he cites Christopher Hitchens perplexity on the subject. The one quote cited that really got me was this:

Men have to pretend, to themselves as well as to women, that they are not the servants and supplicants. Women, cunning minxes that they are, have to affect not to be the potentates.

This I believe all men in committed relationships know to be true. Men at some level are here to serve women. Women hold tremendous power over the men in their lives even if they don't know it. Men for the most part are only truly happy when their women are. "If Momma aint happy nobody's happy!"

So, what makes women happy? Are you kidding me? I have no idea, I'm a man!

As women's roles have evolved over the last thirty years to where they now have some of the same opportunities men have had along I think they are finding that the more complicated (and cluttered) their minds are the more difficult it is to be happy. For men, heck, it's just sex and sports - happiness should be just that easy!

The key to the difference is self assuredness and confidence. Whether a man is discussing the effectiveness of the quarterback of his favorite team or the best route to get from here to there he is extremely confident about it. He may be full of it but it doesn't matter, he knows he's right.

For women it is, as always, a double-edged sword in the swaggering self-confidence department. If a woman is just too damn sure of herself and pushes it she is a dragon lady or a bitch whereas a man is viewed as man's man and respected for his strong opinion. This is what my mother was talking about. When it comes to things like driving directions (a car or a golf club) and how things ought to be done we men think we are right and we are damn confident about it. "Do it my way!" The bottom line is that men doubt themselves far less than women do.

Seriously, it is a huge problem and the popular culture of portraying the woman as constant victim of male domination fosters a large part of the destruction of her confidence. As a result many women fall apart and the whole society suffers. Men get confused and since we have a proclivity to fix things we end up make it worse. By fixing "everything" we only reinforce the notion that led to her crisis of confidence in the first place.

The problems that arise from this are just to numerous to discuss here - books have been written - and the solution is not going to be simple. We can be certain that as society evolves the worst thing we can do is continue to trumpet victimhood because we can see what that has done for black Americans. Women do have power, they always have, now they need the confidence to go along with it.



Timothy Birdnow said...

My understanding of the female mind can be summed up with the following: