Monday, March 19, 2007

More Global Warming Nonsense

This is too funny...

So, the little Global Warming rally in Boston didn't quite come off as planned. Stupid winter! Well, the unseasonably cold weather didn't stop them, no siree, however, they did look a bit pathetic. The only thing missing was a Polar Bear!






THE DEFINITIVE GLOBAL WARMING LIST
Check out this list. Every item has been linked to Global Warming in one way or another - if you follow the link provided there is actually a link associated with each entry on this list. (I've put my pithy comments in BOLD italics)

Agricultural land increase
Africa devastated
African aid threatened
air pressure changes
Alaska reshaped
allergies increase
Alps melting
Amazon a desert
American dream end
amphibians breeding earlier (or not)
ancient forests dramatically changed
Antarctic grass flourishes
anxiety
algal blooms
Arctic bogs melt
Asthma
atmospheric defiance
atmospheric circulation modified
avalanches reduced
avalanches increased
bananas destroyed
bananas grow
bet for $10000
better beer
big melt faster
billion dollar research projects
billions of deaths
bird distributions change
birds return early
blackbirds stop singing
blizzards
blue mussels return
boredom
Britain Siberian
British gardens change
bubonic plague
budget increases
building season extension
bushfires
business opportunities
business risks
butterflies move north
cardiac arrest
caterpillar biomass shift
challenges and opportunities
Cholera
civil unrest
cloud increase
cloud stripping
cod go south
cold climate creatures survive
cold spells (Australia)
computer models VICTIMIZED BY GLOBAL WARMING DENIERS
coral bleaching
coral reefs dying
coral reefs grow
coral reefs shrink
cold spells
cost of trillions
crumbling roads
buildings and sewage systems
cyclones (Australia)
Dengue hemorrhagic fever
dermatitis
desert advance
desert life threatened
desert retreat
destruction of the environment
diarrhea
disappearance of coastal cities
diseases move north
Dolomites collapse
drought
drowning people
ducks and geese decline
dust bowl in the corn belt
early spring
earlier pollen season
Earth biodiversity crisis
Earth dying
Earth even hotter
Earth light dimming
Earth lopsided
Earth melting
Earth morbid fever
Earth on fast track
Earth past point of no return
Earth slowing down
Earth spinning out of control
Earth to explode
earth upside down
Earth wobbling
earthquakes
El NiƱo intensification
erosion
emerging infections
encephalitis
Europe simultaneously baking and freezing
evolution accelerating
expansion of university climate groups
extinctions (human civilization, smallest butterfly, cod, ladybirds, bats, pandas, pikas, pigmy possums, gorillas, koalas, walrus, whales, frogs, toads, turtles, orang-utan, elephants, tigers,
plants, salmon, trout, wild flowers, woodlice, penguins, a million species - half of all animals not the least of which is polar bears, and plant species)
experts muzzled
extreme changes to California
famine farmers go under
figurehead sacked
fish catches drop
fish catches rise
fish stocks decline
five million illnesses
floods
Florida economic decline
food poisoning
food prices rise
food security threat (SA)
footpath erosion
forest decline
forest expansion
frosts
fungi invasion
Garden of Eden wilts DID ADAM AND EVE REALLY DRIVE SUV'S?
genetic diversity decline
gene pools slashed
glacial retreat glacial growth
glacier wrapped
global cooling
global dimming
glowing clouds
Gore omnipresence THIS IS FRIGHTENING
grandstanding SEE ABOVE
grasslands wetter
Great Barrier Reef 95% dead
Great Lakes drop
greening of the North
Gulf Stream failure
habitat loss
Hantavirus pulmonary syndrome
harvest increase
harvest shrinkage
hay fever epidemic
hazardous waste sites breached
heat waves
hibernation ends too soon
hibernation ends too late
high court debates
human fertility reduced
human health improvement
human health risk
hurricanes
hydropower problems
hyperthermia deaths
ice sheet growth
ice sheet shrinkage
inclement weather
infrastructure failure (Canada)
Inuit displacement
Inuit poisoned
Inuit suing
industry threatened
infectious diseases
insurance premium rises
invasion of midges
island disappears
islands sinking
itchier poison ivy THIS IS MY FAVORITE
jellyfish explosion
Katrina
Kew Gardens taxed
krill decline
lake and stream productivity decline
landslides
landslides of ice at 140 mph
lawsuits increase
lawsuit successful
lawyers’ income increased
lightning related insurance claims
little response in the atmosphere
Lyme disease
Malaria
malnutrition
Maple syrup shortage
marine diseases
marine food chain decimated
marine dead zone
Meaching (end of the world)
megacryometeors
Melanoma
methane emissions from plants
methane burps
melting permafrost
Middle Kingdom convulses
migration
migration difficult (birds)
microbes to decompose soil carbon more rapidly
more bad air days NO, NOT BAD HAIR DAYS
more research needed
mountain (Everest) shrinking
mountains break up
mountains taller
mudslides
next ice age
Nile delta damaged
no effect in India
nuclear plants bloom
oaks move north
ocean acidification
outdoor hockey threatened
oyster diseases
ozone loss
ozone repair slowed
ozone rise
Pacific dead zone
personal carbon rationing
pest outbreaks
pests increase
phenology shifts
plankton blooms
plankton destabilised
plankton loss
plant viruses
plants march north
polar bears aggressive
polar bears cannibalistic
polar bears drowning
polar bears starve
polar tours scrapped
psychosocial disturbances AL GORE??? SEAN PENN???
railroad tracks deformed
rainfall increase
rainfall reduction
refugees
reindeer larger
release of ancient frozen viruses
resorts disappear rice yields crash
rift on Capitol Hill C'MON THIS IS GOING TO FAR!
rioting and nuclear war
rivers raised
rivers dry up
rockfalls
rocky peaks crack apart
roof of the world a desert
Ross river disease
salinity reduction
salinity increase
Salmonella
salmon stronger
sea level rise
sea level rise faster
sex change
sharks booming
shrinking ponds
ski resorts threatened
slow death
smog
snowfall increase
snowfall reduction
societal collapse
songbirds change eating habits
sour grapes
spiders invade Scotland
squid population explosion
squirrels reproduce earlier
spectacular orchids
stormwater drains stressed
taxes
tectonic plate movement
terrorism
ticks move northward (Sweden)
tides rise tourism increase
trade winds weakened
tree beetle attacks
tree foliage increase (UK)
tree growth slowed
trees could return to Antarctic
trees less colourful
trees more colourful
tropics expansion
tropopause raised
tsunamis
turtles lay earlier
Venice flooded
volcanic eruptions
walrus pups orphaned
war
wars over water
water bills double
water supply unreliability
water scarcity (20% of increase)
water stress
weather out of its mind
weather patterns awry
weeds
Western aid cancelled out
West Nile fever
whales move north
wheat yields crushed in Australia
white Christmas dream ends
wildfires
wind shift
wind reduced
wine - harm to Australian industry
wine industry damage (California)
wine industry disaster (US)
wine - more English
wine -German boon
wine - no more French
winters in Britain colder
wolves eat more moose
wolves eat less
workers laid off
world bankruptcy
World in crisis
Yellow fever

This list touches on just about all the problems that the world faces today, especially itchier poison ivy. I just love the ones that contradict each other. Chicken Little has nothing on these guys!




CW

1 comments:

al fin said...

Oh dear! This global warming business must be very serious.

The Global Warming Swindle documentary by Durkin is available on Google video.