Saturday, October 30, 2004

News Flash! Blogger calls out bin Laden

dateline St. Paul MN

In an incredible turn of events a little known Internet blogger (a term short for Web log writer) has called Osama bin Laden out of hiding.

The blog known as Protohuman posted a piece by blogger StaticNoise on Tuesday, October 26th that speculated that bin Laden was probably dead because the terrorist had not been seen since 2001. Proof of life, the blogger contended, "was not that difficult".

On Friday October 29th a video tape of Osama bin Laden was aired around the globe surprising everyone and ended the speculation the mastermind behind the September the 11th attacks was dead. "I guess I'm as surprised as anyone," StaticNoise said Friday night, "I had no idea my blog was read in the caves of Afghanistan."

In the speech given by bin Laden gone was the firey rhetoric and direct threats against the so-called Great Satan. In stark contrast to all his other public pronoucements bin Laden sounded a conciliatory tone. Absent from the picture was the trademark assault rifle bin Laden is fond of carrying. The speech basically said "if you leave us alone, we'll leave you alone". As if reading out of the playbook of the DNC or a script by ultra slob Michael Moore, bin Laden touched on every point made by the anti-war/anti-Bush movement. What is the American electorate to make of this October surprise? Tuesday's election will tell the tale as to whether America will accept his terms... Both candidates said they will not let Osama bin Laden dictate American policy, but it seemed perfectly clear who master terrorist Osama bin Laden wants to see sitting in the oval office come January.