Saturday, March 28, 2009

"Put it in me Scott" :Quiznos Torpedo


When I first saw the current Quiznos commercial doing a "hard" sell for the new Torpedo "foot long" sandwich I was instantly creeped out. There was a glowing red hot masculine toaster oven imploring Scott the sandwich maker to "put it in me". The oven continues "say it sexier, Scott, sexier". Homo-erotic commercials for submarine sandwiches!!!

I thought I can't be the only one who finds this commercial disgusting, and pardon the pun - distasteful. (I'm not - see here and here) One commenter on a complaint forum had me rolling on the floor... "The only way this commercial could be more suggestive, is if they put a cheesy 70's porn music track on during it. I'll admit it, I popped a boner when the the oven told Scott to put one in him."

Quiznos must be getting complaints from the usual crowd, you know, family and religious associations. Not that they care, opposing the pro-family and pro-religious advocacy groups is a badge of honor these days in the popular culture. Crude, crass and in your face is the milieu of marketing in 21st century.

However, just try turning the tables. Let's suppose the toaster oven was a sexy female voice begging Scott, "put it in me" "you know we both liked it". There is no way Quiznos and their marketing geniuses would have aired a commercial like that.

I'm not a homo basher, rather, a live and let live kinda guy. I don't really appreciate Burger King's commercials for their new cute little cheese burgers with the nubile young women fawning all over the tight little buns like they were a sexy man's bum. It's almost as crude and crass as the Quiznos spot. I mean, is really necessary to sexualize every single thing?

I'm sure the fact that myself and hundreds of other bloggers are writing about it goes the very point of Quiznos' marketing strategy. Sex sells...

But, in all honesty they have lost a customer in me. This creepy, classless commercial will stick in my craw and when I'm out and about and hungry I will drive right by Quiznos. I'll be getting my sandwiches from Jimmy Johns and even, God forbid, Subway. (BTW I don't go to Burger King either)





[call me a prude, or an uptight Church laddy if you like... can we ever rise above our base animal self and suppress the adolescent need to turn everything into a Freudian sex proxy] CW

33 comments:

Anonymous said...

You're on base, man. Will I ever eat there? quiz NO!

Anonymous said...

"quiz NO!"

Thanks, mom. This commercial is really funny. Seriously, it's not distasteful, it's silly and that's why it's enjoyable. Anyone that would seriously be offended by a fictitious (implied) sexualesque relationship between a sandwich oven with a male voice and a guy working there needs to take a step back and realize how ridiculous it is that it bothers them.

Anonymous said...

This is definitely a creepy ad. Humans should stick with our own species, God didn't create machines for us to play with like that. I'm glad you support my family, we're so happy that we can now get married :)

Anonymous said...

"Put it in me"?! finally a major corporation that puts out some truth in advertising.

Anonymous said...

Excuse me, but you have to wonder when they are going to admit what their secret sauce is....hey, the guy burned himself "there"....he even looked down and said, "I won't do that again, it burned"...DUH! It seems that Quiznos has a huge problem creating commercials. I haven't seen one that has been stupid, gross, or just plain weird.

Bill said...

The fact that you say you aren't a "homo basher" proves that you are one.

Its a very funny spot. Lighten up.

BB
Burbank, CA

Anonymous said...

Just as gay as those old Bounty paper towell commercials.
I work across the street from one of their stores and I wouldnt eat there if it were free.

LyleDAL said...

The commercials are hilarious. Not much more to say about it then that...except, lighten up. You folks clearly take these things far too seriously.

Anonymous said...

This commercial is funny. I never have eaten there. And I think I will try out the new torpedo. yum

Anonymous said...

Put it in me Scott, if ya know what I mean.

StaticNoise said...

The point being made - in case you missed it - is that not every single thing in this culture needs to be sexualized. For God's sake it's a sandwich! Have you seen Burger King's commercial for their Kiddie meal? Women shaking their asses (with a telephone book shoved into their shorts). Is that funny? Not even remotely. At the end o the commercial we see a pimp declaring how much he loves square booty... This is for a kids product.

Now I guess that makes me a hetro-basher too.

What's next? A merger between Quiznos and Burger King where the King takes a Torpedo up the you-know-where. Hilarious!!!

LyleDAL said...

He's not a pimp. He's Sir Mixalot, the guy who sang the original song the commercial tune is based on. Can't imagine what it is about him that made you assume he was a pimp. Hm. Anyway...

I think we understand the point being made. So? Both BK and Quiznos are known for attempting to be edgy in their ads. You don't like that? Don't eat their food. The ads offend you? Turn off your TV and avoid seeing things that bother you.

Neither ad is that big a deal. You guys take this stuff way too seriously.

Anonymous said...

Scott better have some asbestos condoms, I prefer the Paris Hilton Burger Ad.

StaticNoise said...

Excuse me or not knowing the difference between a "Sir Mixalot" with girls draped all over him and a pimp. I guess I'm just jealous. Obviously some of you must not have young children...

Whatever.

LyleDAL said...

Note to self: Any man sitting between two women is a pimp.


GOT IT!

Anonymous said...

I think the commercial is funny but, after seeing it, I don't think I'd be comfortable eating of those sandwiches.

Anonymous said...

Scott can put it in me anytime.

Anonymous said...

This commercial had me rolling around laughing. This was not sexualized but funny in a subtle adult way. Kids will not understand it and grown ups can get a chuckle. This is coming from a Christian straight male who doesn't mind a funny commercial now and again. A whole blog post to this?? Seriously? Wouldn't it have been better to turn your attention to the railroad job crazy liberals are pulling off on Miss California?

StaticNoise said...

Anonymous 7:13PM
Believe it or not this is the most comments I've seen on this blog. Struck a nerve I guess... Just happened to be on the computer when I first saw that commercial. A little time searching on Google and walla a quick dashed off post, soon to be forgotten. Or so I thought.

As for Miss California - indeed, I feel for her, she, apparently has no right to her opinion. Strangely the same opinion held by the Messiah himself in the Oval Office. But she has the ultimate blowhard on the case in Sean Hannity and doesn't need me.

Anonymous said...

I thought this commercial was HILARIOUS! I WISH they wouldve kept it running

Anonymous said...

Creepy sums it all up.

I'm certain that I won't be eating a sandwich wherein the advertiser implies that the sandwich jockey is cornholing my lunch.

No thanks, yet another reason to avoid commercial food enterprises.

Anonymous said...

Get over it.., Freak!

Anonymous said...

If it were a female voice you'd either be crying sexism or fucking kitchen appliances.

Anonymous said...

OMG! LIGHTEN UP PEEPS! I will be like "DAmmit Scott, quit fondling my sammich and hand it over please" Anyone ever WAITED on their food at Quiznos?? JC, It takes them forever...now I know why...Damn Scott!!!!

Anonymous said...

Wow, will all that's happening on this planet today, you need to pick something more important to get worked up about dude. The ad is just plain funny. The ad's creepiness is intentional -- it's there to draw a similarity to HAL9000.

Incidentally, did you get as lathered up about Quizno's previous round of ads where women scarfed down subs while declaring something like "More Meat! That's what us women want!"? Those actually were offensive.

Chill.

Anonymous said...

Creepy?? Not to a homo like me, only to you breeders. I love this commercial, although I can't decide if I want Scott or the sandwich in me! When he sayz that final "only four dollars"...OMG I melt like butter!!! His real name is Tom Rock, but I haven't found out much about him online (yet). But I probably won't bother unless I can find a pic of him with his shirt off. Then again, why bother, he's probably breeder too!!:(

Anonymous said...

a few things to comment on.

1. Anyone who claims to be legitimately offended by this really needs to get over themselves. It's just a f-ing commercial. It's selling a product. There are much more important things to put your time and effort into than being offended by a damn commercial. Come on now.

2. How is this commercial any worse than "Smilin' Bob" from Enzyte or many other commercials that are suggestive?

3. Your kids will learn about it anyways. No use in hiding them behind a wall of innocence. If you're a good parent, you'll teach them to make up their own minds and give them guidance, not put up walls. This whole "I don't want my family to be exposed to this blah blah blah" is ridiculous, you cannot escape sex.

StaticNoise said...

Anonymous 8:42

Whatever!!!

It is just an efing commercial - I have evey right to comment on it. So what if you like it - I don't. By the way Smilin' Bob is selling a sex enhancement product, not a flipping sandwich.

Those of you who are never offended by anything (except critisim of homosexuality) are the ones that need to "get over yourselves". If you don't think that children need to be shielded from the ugliness of the world for a while then you are the one with a problem...

Geez.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, you have every right to comment on it. Big whoop. No one really cares about your opinion, and no one really cares about my opinion. You know the drill, opinions are like a-holes, everyone's got 'em, and they all stink. The only reason we state an opinion is to vent and persuade. When will anyone learn this is counterproductive??? THINK ABOUT IT!

Anonymous said...

^^^

what he/she said.
Fact is this commercial just plain is not offensive.

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Anonymous said...

This commercial is just the tip of the iceberg I'm afraid. When i worked at Quiznos we would all take turns stuffing torpedos in the toaster, sometimes two or three at a time. And lets not even start on how many salads were tossed there.

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